Air Conditioners

We turn on the air conditioner because we feel hot.

It’s getting hotter because the air conditioner is turned on.

Because it’s getting hotter, we use it more often.

Since we use it more often, it just keeps getting hotter.

The best shit eva

The thing is, you don’t know whether you need it.

That’s because you haven’t tried it.

It’s just like the iPhone. Before it was released, people never found out that they actually needed it. Like air.

Plus, there were numerous articles emphasizing Steve Jobs’ idea on how tech companies should invent something people never knew they needed.

You know what? It worked! The craze endured, and people still look forward to breaking their iPhone 4s, to use it as a legit excuse the iPhone 5.

However, I’m not talking about the next Google glass.

In fact, what I’m talking about has always been there. It’s been there the whole time! Sadly, people just never paid enough attention to it.

I must not stay silent anymore. People need to know about this. So, here goes nothing:

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2nd breakfasts. 

Think about it.

Why wait to have Mamak food at night for supper, when you can have it right after dim sum?!

Why wait to have RM5 chicken rice for lunch (because breakfast was already prepared at home), when you can have it right after?!

Why wait to have pork noodles in ss15 for lunch, when you can have it right after juicy, caramelized char siu fan?! THERE’S NEVER TOO MUCH PORK IN LIFE. NEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAR.

Why wait for the next day for another sumptuous bowl of kolo mee, when you can have two (three, four, five…) bowls on the same day during breakfast?!

Guys, girls, trust me on this. 2nd breakfast is going to represent the latest hashtag trend on Instagram. Just imagine all the likes you’re gonna get, you likewhore.

But seriously, 2nd breakfasts!!! WOAAAAAAH WTFBBQOMG

Service above self

There’s nothing more fulfilling than making a powerful impact in someone’s life. LKY proved it. He was a man who genuinely wanted to help Singapore, and its people. The quote “Service above self” describes his lifestyle well. To serve people before serving yourself. My friends and I nodded at it when it was brought up over Mamak food; but, there’s a paradox.

Serving others will no doubt put yourself in a position to reap even more benefits. When a politician serves the people well, the people will think of him in good ways, which serves his interests of winning the next election. When a corporation gets heavily involved in environmental causes in an effort to improve living conditions, environmentalists will advocate their actions, which raises awareness of the company’s brand and heightens the chance of higher revenue.

So in a way “Service above self” = “Service for self”.

Storytelling challenge #2 (part 1)

I divided this challenge into parts, because I felt like it. Underlined words were suggestions from friends. Photo credits to Mark Henley. Here’s part one of the challenge:

In my dreams, someone was knocking on the door, but at that point I woke up. 2 more hours before we arrive at KLIA, the screen tells me. And then, the knocking started again, louder than before. It was the kid behind me. I assumed that he didn’t know how a touchscreen works. 

Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Just let it go la. Just two more hours.

Gleaming skyscrapers, polluted air, and apparent inequality – these things make up Kuala Lumpur, a city that can’t sustain its own people. Although popular as a global financial centre and world class city, most people can’t even afford to live in KL. Throngs of people moved away after its rapid development, as it became too expensive to stay for long. The few who do eventually fall prey to poverty, and rely heavily on soup kitchens to get their plate of rice with curry everyday. Just enough to survive.

I wanted to do something that matters, so it wasn’t long before Siti’s Soup Kitchen became my second home. The people who visit the soup kitchen regularly are said to be separated into various clans. They settle into different sheds every night; but, they love sharing stories with each other while eating the food prepared by the kitchen. Every night, I would hear wows, ohs, and ahs from the kitchen; and sometimes I would join the squatting circle.

The silence of the back alleys of Kuala Lumpur can be quite deafening at night, so if something were to happen people would find out easily. One clan member recalled his own account of a masked girl who seemed young enough to stay in primary school.

“”No time to explain. Get in the car!” The little girl yelled to the convict while brandishing an MP5,”

Another clan member told her tale of a man and a woman staring suspiciously at a wall. They were both draped in immaculate white suits. The clan member told everyone,

“The man brought him to a wall and said, “Come with me, Sam”. “I’m sorry I just can’t.” And they bid farewell not knowing when they would see each other again. Boom!”

I’ve been talking to her every night, and every conversation is never a dull one. Her name is Alia. Charismatic, extraverted, and outspoken – these qualities are what headhunters are looking for, and it baffles me to see her visit this soup kitchen every night in her stained white tank top and oversized slippers. One night, she tried to approach me but before she could say anything, a boy tapped her on the shoulder. He was of similar height, and looked at her as though she meant the world to him. I know, because he didn’t notice me when I introduced myself to him.

“Hello?” I greeted.

A long pause.

“Sorry, it’s urgent. My name is Jeff, by the way.”

“It’s good to meet you.” I returned to my duties.

Jeff and Alia met outside the glaring skyscraper of Pavilion Mall. That’s where most tourists were, and when there are tourists there’s waste. Jeff’s personality’s a stark contrast to Alia’s. Introverted, reserved, and reticent – these qualities made him the balancing act of Alia’s life. Jeff also believes that whenever he crosses his eyes, a kid drops his ice-cream. Very often Alia thinks he’s deluded, but his quiet confidence kept him hoping that it was true. Jeff’s parents were hunted down by loan sharks. His parents knew he had a better chance of surviving if they separated. And they did.

At midnight, I found out from Alia that Jeff saw his parents from afar while he was scavenging the streets of Masjid India. The wonderstruck boy approached them, and the family was briefly reunited two years after separating. They brought their son to lunch, and he felt like he was home again. Although Jeff was over the moon, the concern in his parents’ eyes sent a chilling jolt down his spine. He knew the loan sharks were still after them, and there was nothing he could do but pray as they keep running for their lives. Before they separated once again, they took the boy into their arms and hugged him extra tight as though they were trying to give him back two lost years of companionship. To Jeff, it was not enough.

Is it ever enough? To him, if it wasn’t this, it’d be something else. He dwelled on the possibilities of ‘something else’.

“I’m sure it would be much better than this,” he thought.

He was wrong.

Jetlagged thoughts

I am basking in much needed Malaysian heat.

After training, always remember to stretch forearms.

I prefer a world where the focus is put on the progress of retail banks, not investment banks.

I rather be a Lee Kuan Yew and get the right things done most of the time, no matter what people say.

I’ll do this sharing thing for a month on That’s What Shaun Said, and see the type of progress I can achieve. Take note, 24/3/2015.

This book is really useful.

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The day before MNight

Today, I had an interesting conversation with a cab driver. He talked about the American and Chinese allies such as Israel and Pakistan. He also wants China to be the most powerful nation in the world, because the U.S is sapping the powers of developing nations. He saw my phone, and thought of buying it for his girlfriend. “Fuck Apple,” he said.

Today, I drank wine in the afternoon for the first time. It’s not easy looking like freshly boiled crab out in the streets of Headingley. I ordered wine to go with my meal in WHITES. Merlot from Chile. I sat a table at the corner with a view of the slow moving traffic, and was waiting for my meal. There was a coat hanger right beside my table, and a man approached it to take his coat and noticed something on the table. I then introduced the One Plus to him.

“I’ll Google it,” he said.

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Today, I forgot to bring my house key out. After our Dikir Barat practice, Amir accompanied me in the Union because I was waiting for the housemates to reach home. Syazni then popped out from The Terrace with a bunch of his friends, and we headed to the Hidden Cafe. A mini jam session ensued. New friends made. Good night.

Tomorrow, people are coming to Leeds MNight. As much as I loathe the stress that comes along with organizing such a huge event in Leeds, I have a strong feeling that I will miss it immensely.

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It’s going to be a good night, because the past four months are going to be fucking worth it.

I’d remain a fool if…

During our last committee meeting, Celina opened the door and shouted ‘Surprise motherfucker!’, my initial thoughts were…

“Okay that’s Celina being Celina alright!”

Zaim and I were discussing whether we should do something special for the whole committee since it was going to be our last meeting as a committee. I suggested shots of red wine every 5 minutes; Zaim suggested pizza; but, we both didn’t want the committee to find out. At the end, our plans didn’t come to fruition, and I blame Andrew for that  because everyone was too busy.

A large chunk of the committee were running late, and it annoyed me slightly. That’s when Celina stormed into the room. The rest of the junior committee then walked in with pizza boxes in their hands and started singing ‘Negaraku’. Why? I honestly don’t know; but, I know that I was smiling like an idiot deep down inside and my cheek muscles were about to suffer from severe cramps.

Sometimes, I get so focused on getting things done that I forget about how awesome these people are. They might not be the best at what they needed to do (including myself); but without a doubt these people are amazing in their own ways; and, I’d remain a fool if I had not realised that. 

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The whole committee. The pizzas represent the junior committee.