At a different club for the first time.

Write about your strongest memory of heart-pounding belly-twisting nervousness: what caused the adrenaline? Was it justified? How did you respond?

Every living second in the room that day I felt like puking my guts out. Although that is humanely impossible, it seemed like a breakthrough in the realm of science was about to happen that day. It was just another Toastmaster meeting that I usually attend every fortnight. However, I was at a completely different club. This club was new and all I wanted to do was impress them with what I have picked up from the past 9 months of club-hopping. I could hear my own conscious talking to me like a maniac. The type of maniac that would arise from a teenage dancer panicking (like OMGOMGOMG) backstage while waiting for her 3-minute spotlight to begin. Every time I wanted to say something to a friend I brought to the meeting I felt like I was going to throw up and felt the constant need to pause whatever I was going to say so that my stomach doesn’t suffer from backward diarrhea. Feeling ashamed of myself while typing this, I farted several times and constantly tried to muffle the sound by positioning my buttocks in a very odd way which looked like I was scratching side to side using the upholstery of the black study chair. The type with a built-in mini table. I have always hated using those tables. They always make me look messy and disorganized whenever I had to finger through multiple files for an elusive sheet of paper. Something always drops. And then comes the part where you have to clear everything on it (and pass it to a friend who seemed more composed with the table),  fold it back in its original non-functional position and pick it up. As each minute passed I felt the need to become a miniature alien in a miniature spaceship and fly into my body through the nostrils, end up at the rib cage, with an amplifier and a microphone to tell my heart to ‘calm the f down’.

“Calm the f down Shaun!” I mused.

Finally it was my turn to speak, to evaluate an Icebreaker speech. So I got off my chair with some effort exerted from my triceps against the chair handles and walked coolly to mask my anxiety from the crowd. I handled the crowd well and asked them questions like the general evaluator of the day but I still thought I let my nervousness take over me when my voice quivered here and there but ALL IN ALL (like any mediocre Toastmaster evaluator would say) I think I did a great job and I looked forward to my next evaluation.


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