That little boy is now grown up. Over the years, he has experienced some pretty tough stuff. But now when he decides to let them taste their own medicine, he is the one to blame. He thinks, ‘Why can’t they just accept what he has to say? Why must they be oversensitive with what he deems as the truth? Why can’t they face their own flaws, like how they made me face my own?’ She admonishes him whenever he states the truth defiantly in front of her. This doesn’t happen with her only but with everyone else in the house. They all seem offended by whatever he has to say but his intentions are pure. He thinks life is unfair. He thinks people should be treated the same way they have treated others. He thinks whatever bad things they have done to others, the equivalent should happen to them but this, he never witnesses. So the boy who once felt so little decides that nobody should wait for karma. He starts off with stating the harsh truth, making them feel their own egos shrinking like a senile old man who was once robust degenerating. But in this house, it isn’t right to do so. “But it is alright for you to do it to me?” The odds are always against him. He doesn’t understand this. This never ceases to perplex him and so to stop himself from always feeling confused he decides to write it all out. He decides to take years of fiery indignation and dump all of it somewhere where he doesn’t have to create some space in his memory for, like tossing a huge rock into an ocean. Once it starts sinking, it’s unlikely that you will find it ever again. But like the crane which uses so much energy to lift the rock up, it isn’t easy to forget about and simply leave all the emotional baggage that has accumulated in your heart. It isn’t easy to breathe freely with so much of it being crammed into your rib cage, suppressing the expansion of your lungs.
He flips his book open and gets a pen. He places the tip of it on the upper left corner of the page but all he could manage was a huge black dot. He tries harder to express whatever pain and sorrow he has felt since day 1 but nothing is written out.
He thinks, ‘How do you just leave everything behind? How does someone just let go of the emotional baggage they have been carrying for so long?’
- Release the baggage. (lovelifewriter.com)