A few months ago we discussed where we would go for further studies. From local universities to twinning programmed, we talked about it as if everything would be just fine, no matter which university we headed to.
It is actually happening. We’re doing long distance soon and as each day passes everything reminds me of that terrible fact. Accommodation, plane tickets and so on, all these topics made my heart ache every once in a while. It wrenches in pain and gasps for some fresh air while trying to call for help. “Please stop, I have had enough,” it would squeal in agony. My brain would reply’ “Enough? But it hasn’t started yet.”
I dread the day we see each other in the airport before taking the escalator down, then walking to border control slowly and turning back as often as possible to get a blur glimpse of your lovely smile and teary eyes. I don’t know if you will cry then but right now I’m trying to hold back my tears as I write this.
I will miss your warm hugs and strawberry-scented hair. I love stuffing my face in it too, not to make my face smell like children’s shampoo but for the mere love of it. The way your eyes fall adorably on mine, that I will always remember. How you act so childishly in front of me but not the rest, that I will never fully comprehend but I am more than content to witness such a magical phenomenon.
Honestly, I hate Skyping with you. In terms of intimacy, it has less than zero quality. Talking to you on a computer screen will never ever surpass the act of ringing your doorbell and peeping through the slits of your wooden gate just to catch the first sight of you unlocking your door. Almost every time, we would hug right after the gate opens for me to come in.
So simple yet it fills me up with joy so easily.
Your coos are soporific have I told you that? That’s why I tend to fall asleep whenever we talk on Viber (which is shit as well). Shall I get us some headphones so we could get the best out of video calls when I’m there. Or should we arrange a quiet spot for our calls because I hate it whenever I can’t hear your voice clearly due to Kaizer’s barking or your (you know)’s whines.
I can only hope this brings us to a higher level of compassion and understanding. I wish it will. Until then, let us savor every second of being in each other’s arms.