Miley Cyrus and Masterchef US.

Hold up hold up hold up. Before we get into how Miley Cyrus was flaunting her booty so shamelessly, let’s talk about Robin Thicke.

Why would a grown man accept whatever agreement between him and Miley Cyrus drafted out about their performance? Think about it. Why would you let a 20 year old girl twerk and rub her butt against your crotch. Surely he has realized what he was getting himself into. Would you agree being involved with girls twerking and rubbing their own vaginas with a …

Wait. Who gives a damn anyway?

Exactly.

Who gives a damn anyway.

Two years ago when I started watching Masterchef US (the first of its kind), everybody thought Gordon Ramsay was snobbish control freak on fire which no fire extinguisher could ever calm him down. I liked watching it particularly because of the vast amount of pressure the contestants are constantly under. It’s nice to see people suffer like that sometimes and this peculiar behavior is called schadenfreude for your information. After watching the whole first season of Masterchef US on Youtube, I rolled away from the computer on my chair and started digesting the season as a whole in hopes of tips and tricks that could be assimilated.

Guess what? Nothing. I learned NOTHING related to cooking from the whole season. The show was full of drama and unnecessary plate dumping. Every time a white porcelain plate gets thrown into the dustbin JUST because it had bad, unsavory food on it, I get the strongest of urges to hug the plate and console it with some coos of “It’s okay, it’s not your fault the food was bad.” Look. I get it. The food was bad but was it so bad that the blame had to be pushed to those precious plates. I assume they are very expensive plates and I’m sure dumping the food into the bin doesn’t require the plate going down with it. Just imagine the plate thinking “WTF DID I DO BRO?!” after shattering into pieces. Just the thought of it makes me cringe.

So why would the television company allow the judges to waste so much money with plate-dumping?

More plates broken equals more expenses, yes? So why would a TV company do such thing?

Of course! The masses loved it. It creates drama. It makes the audience go ‘Oh damn!’ every time something not along the line of the norm happens. The audience loves the tears, the backstabbing, the heartbreak, the shouting, the crude expletives and the plate-breaking. So the company gives it to them. They like drama? We give them drama! The show was supposed to be about food but the audience craves opponent-bitching and frequent cat fights? We STILL give them DRAMA! Nonsensical drama? It’s okay, they still LOVE it!

This happens everywhere but the most obvious example would be US reality shows. One word to describe these reality shows: unrealistic. Other than that, celebrities. They like the attention + they create the drama = they get the attention. For example, Miley Cyrus. Isn’t she getting it from everyone right now? There are posts, status updates and tweets dedicated to her.

This is what immature celebrities do nowadays. They are ignorant of the existence of more fulfilling activities such as watching Masterchef Australia (where you ACTUALLY learn how to cook) and delivering motivational speeches unpredictably like Ashton Kutcher recently. Ashton Kutcher is a great example of what to do with the abundant attention given to you. Make people feel good. Make the world a little better to live in. Acknowledge the kindheartedness of each undercover, undervalued and underestimated citizen.

So let’s not take the time to address Miley’s mental issues and use that time to do wonderful things.

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