How to make friends/be a better friend USING ORANGES.

To many people, an orange is just a typical fruit. Like the banana, people don’t eat it often in public because it makes them look messy and unromantic. Nobody wants to be unromantic. 

How does it make one look unromantic, you may wonder.

  • When peeling the skin off WITHOUT a knife, you are bound to burst a few juicy sacs of the fruit.
  • You leave the skin everywhere. It doesn’t look appealing to anyone and it at times gather ants for a banquet of sweets (1. does the same).
  • It makes your fingers sticky from all the fructose. Nobody wants to hold sticky fingers. Not even my other hand.

Despite all these reasons, I implore you to bring an orange to class or workplace every day. The humble orange has in its zest (and fruit) mystical powers. Powers that the social media will never obtain, powers that people struggle to control and powers some would die for.

It makes friends for you. Also, it makes you a better friend and this is how it is done:

  1. Bring an orange (or two) to wherever you’re meeting colleagues/acquaintances.
  2. Talk to them while peeling the first orange.
  3. When the orange is completely peeled, offer some to everyone you were in a conversation with. This can go two ways. The first is they accept it with a smile on their face. The second? They reject you. Fret not, the rejection is just a way of staying humble and typically Chinese. Offer for the second them and they will delightfully accept it. If this doesn’t happen, do NOT force it.
  4. Repeat steps 1, 2 and 3 with the second orange.

This is can be mastered in time. Sometimes you will come across the ‘too-posh-for-you’ female or the ‘I-don’t-like-fruits’ male. Ignore them. It is their loss they’re not getting enough vitamin Cs. 

I have made wonderful friends through this method and also built for myself the reputation of being ‘orange boy’. People get freaked out when they are offered drinks in a pub, fearing it might be drugged. Well, I’ve got good news for you! You can’t drug an orange. An orange is just a fruit and as long the person watches you peel it, I’m sure he or she will be convinced there’s no funny business going on with it.

I met one girl who questioned me, “Why are you offering oranges?” and her friends gave me the look in unison. You know that look. That ‘EW’ or ‘WTF are you doing’ look.

I couldn’t have been more honest with her. 

“Because sharing is caring.”

 So why not share an orange with someone today. You’ll never know when they may bring you to a farm to enjoy pork at its finest.

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