The song goes well with the post.
Today, I drove to Jalan Majlis. It was to pick up a friend/fighting partner/mentor/bro, so that we could train together back at my gym; but the road represents much more than a mere direction.
I can’t help but feel jittery when I was about to turn into the road. You know, on that road where you need stick to the left to turn right onto Jalan Majlis, because sticking to the right means that you need to make a U-turn.
There was much to be nostalgic about because it is the most frequently travelled road I had to use to get to your place. There were flashbacks of you, all of them of you on the left passenger seat, and all I had to do was turn my head slightly to feel as though you were there…
smiling, being bubbly, childish, immature, petulant, impatient, nervous, distraught, disappointed, forgiving, reassuring, indifferent, encouraging, zoning out, asleep, quiet.
And then I’d feel everything you felt, after dropping you home. All as a result of you.
Did you know, I recently concluded that it was also because of my expectations of us which drove us away from each other? I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it, and unexpectedly it was my parents who indirectly made me think of the breakup from a different perspective. I guess, feeling that I gave the relationship everything didn’t mean anything, unless I really knew what you wanted as well; but no, I admit that I didn’t do that.
Giving it your all doesn’t mean shit, if you don’t listen to the other.
Everyday, things are becoming clearer to me; but, I keep wondering.