Airplanes and honesty

Seeing an airplane fly across the sky a year ago used to make me think how badly I didn’t want to leave; seeing it now just makes me miss how things used to be

like how you gave me tummy massages in hopes that it will magically shrink one day.

Dr Chuben Physiotherapy sessions weren’t very effective, but I loved attending them anyway so I could fill up my makeshift patient card with your signatures.

If I remember correctly, I attended 3 sessions and had about 5 left before I could get my abs done.

Whenever I write of us, people tell me to just move on, get over it, man up

but I think the worst thing you could possibly do is force yourself to feel a certain way

that’s just being dishonest in the worst sense possible,

a white lie to yourself

about how you really feel, who you really are, what you really love doing.

How much worse can it get?

I’d rather not for the fear that I would one day wake up and forget who I really am.

I would honestly prefer knowing someone who knows they’re lost,

instead of someone who thinks they have it all sorted out,

flimsily supported by the most unconvincing reasons,

just so it sounds good to everyone else

but themselves.

At least they’re honest about it.


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