It’s a myth that great couples rarely argue. Very rarely do two people ever fit each others needs and wants like how a substrate would fit an enzyme perfectly. There are some cases that two people in a relationship never argue. However, credit goes to those who stay with each other despite of the insecurity and anguish, long enough to bask in the pure, unadulterated joy that comes like how a rainbow appears after a rainstorm.
I’m no exception to this. My girlfriend and I weren’t and aren’t perfect with words and sometimes we would unintentionally shoot hurtful words at the direction of each other’s hearts, having them pierce through the organ like razor sharp arrows into flesh of oblivious soldiers. We do try to ease the damage but conflict never eludes us.
I used to apologize excessively because I always thought it was the fastest and most effective solution to any argument. But it’s not. Sometimes, saying ‘sorry’ just doesn’t cut it. I remember feeling like I’m always the one who says the word ‘sorry’ although I wasn’t in the wrong and this exasperated me profoundly.
One night, we argued about something silly and I thought I was going to be obliged to play the ‘sorry’ card again. I ended the call with a forceful tap on the screen and waited. Waited for? I don’t know. I just hoped I didn’t have to apologize insincerely. Things took an unexpected turn as her name lights up on my screen and with one swift swipe, the second telephone call for the night had begun.
“I’m sorry.” And that was enough to move me to tears. Those two words meant the world to me in our relationship. It showed that she was ready for change. Good change. It showed that she was willing to love unconditionally and without bias and she showed me that it’s worth pushing our egos aside for the greater good. That moment was fleeting but the emotional impact it had on me is perennial.
To quote the watermeLOWn fella on Vines, “It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen (in my case, heard) in my life.” Enough to have tears trickle down my right cheek, enough to make me love her even more with my whole heart.
I love you, Hsu-Ven. Happy 17th month!